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Why Does This Mum Find It So Hard To Make Friends? | Channel Mum

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Did you know that 51% of Muslim mums feel lonely? It's hardly surprising when 35% of mums admit they wouldn't approach another mum wearing a hijab. Muslim mum, Nilly Dahlia recently decided to take our YANA (You Are Not Alone) challenge, which is aimed at helping mums to feel less lonely. The task was simple, all she had to do was smile at other mums when she went out, but sadly, not a single mother smiled back. Was it the hijab that put them off? So, she's set you the Hijab Challenge. Take a couple of minutes to watch her video and see what it's about. Learn, share and support Nilly today... why not tag a friend or take your own photo but most of all please say 'Hi' to a Hijabi mum so she knows she's not alone. As Nilly says, "see past the scarf and see the person" - we're all mums going through the same thing so the more we're together, the better it will be. Not sure how to wear a hijab? Check out this tutorial from Nilly for some tips – http://www.channelmum.com/video/jersey-scarf-turban-hijab-tutorial-nillydahlia/ See more YANA videos – http://www.channelmum.com/topic/you-are-not-alone/ Emoji provided free by http://emojione.com Production music by www.epidemicsound.com Taking part in this video: Nilly Dahlia – http://www.channelmum.com/vloggers/nillydahlia/ Don't miss a thing - hit that button and subscribe to Channel Mum today https://www.youtube.com/user/channelmum Channel Mum is the UK's first YouTube community for mums. We bring together the best of YouTube mum talent to reveal the honest face of parenting. Channel Mum partners with talented creators and vloggers who make fresh, relevant and honest video content and help mums to find and grow their vlogging voice on YouTube. Add your Channel: http://bit.ly/CMJoinIn Website: http://www.channelmum.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/channelmum Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/channelmum Instagram: https://instagram.com/channelmum/
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Text Comments (147)
Anna-Maria’s World (8 months ago)
I absolutely think this an amazing idea! I loved this video Nilly💞Xx
Stephenies Petcare (1 year ago)
I'll be your mama friend
B 20 (1 year ago)
Man I love this women
Cécile Amstad (1 year ago)
I tied a scarf around my head because I hadn't an umbrella and it started raining. after shopping groceries we didn't have a big enough bag and an elderly woman was INCREDIBLY nice to us, insisting of giving us one of her comfy bags to carry stuff home. I feel like that was a niceness that was supposed to reach someone else but me...
Adriely Moss (1 year ago)
I think hijab looks so good, one day play with my scarf and put in my head (for one minute) and I looked so good and I wished that hijab is a fashion thing, not a religion thing, but since it is I will respect and I'll continue to think looks sooooo cool.
R Family (1 year ago)
We can be friends, no one should ever feel alone. You look beautiful regardless to what anyone thinks x ❤️❤️❤️
gfcanada78 (1 year ago)
That "piece of cloth" on your head is not "just a piece of cloth". What bloody propaganda!
Joanne Letterese (1 year ago)
You're very beautiful! Head scarfs, religion, piercings, tattoos, birthmarks, hoodies, no make-up, whatever it is, I do not care. I love making friends, and I love meeting new people. I'd be your friend 😘 xx
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
We love that attitude Joanne! We'd be your friend too! :) x
Lorna Washington (1 year ago)
I dont wear a hijab and im not religious and i dont get smiled at or spoken to and i have 1 friend who i hardly see. I care for my mum and i have 3 children loneliness is one of the hardest things im trying to deal with. 😔
zeet4z (1 year ago)
it's the person within that counts not the way they look or dress or if they have cloth on their heads, beautiful video from a beautiful person always smiling ma sha Allah
uvalaxfan (1 year ago)
A piece of cloth that represents you buy in to your religions oppressive ways..... Its not JUST a cloth.
Lulastic Hippyshake (1 year ago)
Nilly - you are SO GREAT!
Orange Sheep (1 year ago)
"Now that we know what its all about." Not quite. I would encourage everyone to look into what the Quran says about it rather than passing it off as a fashion statement.
Fatema's Art Show (1 year ago)
love the hijabi challenge. good idea x
Holly Maria (1 year ago)
Just discovered Channel Mum - I love this video but it makes my soul HURT ☹️ Can't believe this happens! Everyone just be nice jeez
Pesko (1 year ago)
<3
Grollender Donner (1 year ago)
It is "just a piece of cloth" and it impacts your interactions with other people. Why than not just take it off?
Tigerlilly Quinn (1 year ago)
I love how the response to this has been so positive! Awful that you got that reaction from some people though. You are doing a brilliant job to raise awareness! x
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
It's fantastic that the response has been so positive, Nilly has done such a brilliant job raising awareness hasn't she? x
elouaililili (1 year ago)
They dont wanna socialize because they're afraid, unfortunately thats how it goes. Its not just a piece of clothing for others, it represents something. Cant blame someone for the fear of unknown, being careful is what keeps one living on. Me myself love different cultures and beating the stereotypes, but everyone is different, just saying.
Sajra&Lamija 0202 (1 year ago)
Bosnia and Herzegovina love youuu thanks for this best video and I'm muslim too love youu ♡♡♡♡
Goletski Fanatici (1 year ago)
islam is peace
Ella Ella (1 year ago)
"just a piece of cloth".. if it's just a piece of cloth, then take it off :) if you can't or won't, then it's not just a piece of cloth :) you might be the coolest person on the planet, but people are still going to associate you with the.. well, you know what. I understand that people in the dessert wear it to protect themselves from sand and such. But you don't need it elsewhere. You really don't.
Nik Rhezley (1 year ago)
Ella Ella Dear, if u go any other muslem country, all women n girl wear all not the same. It's nothing to do with rules in Islam but what they wear about what they believe best for them & choose to stay 'safe'.Agreed by what u mean that relate to but, dont u aware not everyone know there r known muslim in paper but they actually not practising what been teached by Islam.Not all christian who born christian really follow what jesus says (example).What nilly shared is that WE (no matter what our faith) among humans we must treat each other good.dats it.
Raising The Regans (1 year ago)
This world can be a strange place. How would anyone not want to smile back at someone simply because they are wearing something on their head?!?! I would've smiled the biggest smile at you Nilly, you seem like a lovely, lovely person!! Can't wait to head over to your channel!! Xx
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
Aw bless you - you are so sweet xx
89tuber (1 year ago)
Wear a Hijab to experience exclusion? - Oh, why not rather take it off and experience inclusion?
Eduardo Antunes (1 year ago)
great...
riaz memon (1 year ago)
You don't need these kinds women to be your friends anyways. Besides that, its not a good idea to be too sensitive about people's reactions. Sometimes people don't instantly know how to react to people who look different from them. Just ignore the incidents, rather pay attention and give love to those who adore you for who you are.
Dina Tokio (1 year ago)
Love this Nilly!
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
+Dina Tokio thanks for popping by glad you enjoyed it. Isn't Nilly fab?
Rachel Shaw (1 year ago)
wonderfully filmed.. my little girl was entranced by you by the way.. I would definitely be your friend 😀
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
That is so lovely! And yay!! xx
namaste tlc (1 year ago)
Amazing! I love your personality :D
Sam Rajpoot (1 year ago)
thanx channel mum this is good step,really appriciated.as a muslim we have a moto which is "LOVE FOR ALL HATRED FOR NONE"
Lara Joanna Jarvis (1 year ago)
You're so pretty, Nilly xx
Lara Joanna Jarvis (1 year ago)
NillyDahlia Omg haha did you?!? funny. I've got your tv one ready to watch soon xx
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
PMSL. CLEARLY THIS COMMENT GOT TO MY HEAD THAT I SAID IT ON LIVE TV HAHA X
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
Haha, I try lol xx
Jessica Anne (1 year ago)
You look wonderful!!!! I'd have smiled back to you 😊... people are nervous about the unfamiliar, one of the main impacts we can have is encourage our children to be inclusive and celebrate our diversity! Definitely trying your challenge!!!!... watch this space 👍✋️ xxx
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
+Jessica Anne so true! Let us know how you get on!
Allana Wilks (1 year ago)
i smile and say morning or hi to pretty much everyone i pass on my way to nursery with my little one and on the way back. no matter what race/age or clothes they are wearing <3
mod26 (1 year ago)
Allana Wilks you're a beautiful person x
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
+Allana Wilks that's fab! A smile and hello costs nothing
Maisie (1 year ago)
I'd love to be you're friend, you just seem so friendly and approachable, not because of what you wear on you're head! let's be honest I wouldn't want judged for wearing a messy bun on my head or a hat so why should you be judged? you just radiate so much beauty 💓 🌈💫
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
Maria Gillan aw thank you do much. messy mum buns ftw xx
Life With Mrs B (1 year ago)
That's horrible that you have experienced that :( but i'm glad you don't let it get you down. I'm always smiling at everyone so you would have got a smile back from me!
Salmaana Aamir (1 year ago)
Love it I feel the same I mean I never was abused or being not respected but it is so true other mothers non Muslim mum never go beyond hello and they get to know each other and I am just standing there. I always smile to other and always say hello I go to so many play groups and Parks I do it for the kids not for me but I am trying to say that I am surrounded by other mums but still I have no friendship
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
+Salmaana Aamir oh we're sorry to hear that. Please search on Facebook for our closed Channel Mum Group and join us. You are not alone and we'd love you to join the group and say hello
Raven Mutai (1 year ago)
I'm native American and a mother of 2 toddler girls. I get the same attitude from other moms. I think they feel scared they might get rejected or just don't know what to say. although if you've tried smiling at them to find no good response they could still be growing in this new generation. I think you are beautiful no matter what you wear as long as you are kind. i hope you keep feeling motivated to be a great person then some . I pray you get a beautiful heartful and supportive group of friends. For me I find myself so busy to keep social with anyone when I'm with my babies and they are social butterflies. in public they say hi to anybody and only a few times we got some ugly looks. I always take those moments to reassure my babies that I love them and get them excited for an activity in front of the mean person. please excuse the punctuations and errors but you get what I'm saying.
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
Raven Mutai we totally get you . Sounds like you can relate to this a lot - you're doing an amazing job teaching your children to see past those people. Have a lovely day x
cla ire (1 year ago)
My sons primary school was very clicky and people would come into the school gates in groups , muslim mums included, people tend to stick to their own friends and forcus on them and not look at the people around them. i couldnt give a toss what you or other people wear on their heads, and me personally just wanted to get into the school to pick up my son and get out of there like alot of people do unfortunatly, i had a set couple of people i would talk to and that was it, as i dont like being around many people. I was glad when my son left that school and i was able to avoid people but my son has a very social life and isnt crippled by it. cant speak for others but if someone kept smiling at me brightly i would be very suspicious and not because how she was dressed lol
EXCELLENTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Ralion (1 year ago)
Where do you live!!! I'll have a play date with you! To be honest I don't think many Muslim mums in my area attend playgroups! I hope it's not because they're feeling isolated :(
Cook with Anisa (1 year ago)
Fab video Nilofer! Beautifully explained! Smiling back atcha! 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
She did amazing x
Franky Thomas (1 year ago)
p.s dnt no u had yr own channel hun I've just subscribed :) x
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
Thank you so much for subscribing!! xxx
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
Nilly will love that x
Franky Thomas (1 year ago)
lv this video :) why shud it matter if someone is dressed different to yrself. I'll Deffo make more effort to smile :D x
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
That is brilliant :)
Gemma Brushneen (1 year ago)
Oh lovely, how could people not smile at you - you have such a lovely happy face xx
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
It's so rude isn't it x
SJ Strum (1 year ago)
Love this nilly; amazing to turn what must have been horrible, not being smiled at, into such a positive! Will definitely be donning my scarf and smiling at everyone tomorrow :-) Being a mum is the biggest thing any of us can have in common; no matter our age or religion - we all need each other on this crazy ride of motherhood xxxx
rissaraable (1 year ago)
SJ Strum too right! We need to hold each other's hands on this rollacoaster that is motherhood ☺️ Ps. Would love to see you in a headscarf (maybe in the winter though) lol 😘
J Milne (1 year ago)
It saddens me that anyone would be rude or abusive to you. I would most definitely smile back and want to befriend you as I see a beautiful bubbly smiley lady who is so much more approachable than some of the Mum's I've encountered at Baby Groups. Wish all mums were as lovely as you it would make it easier to find mum friends xxx
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
That is exactly it. It should be about personality, being friendly and kind that makes you want to engage with someone. Not about what they are wearing x
Kate+ (1 year ago)
How could anyone not smile back at you? It's just awful and most definitely their loss. Loved this video Nilly xx
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
Exactly, can they not see a completely friendly face?!
Heather Stromberg (1 year ago)
Aww, Nilly. How beautiful are you?! That smile !!!
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
Heather Stromberg She is gorgeous. It is such a shame to those that didn't take notice of how friendly and inviting she was being x
AmyBeingMum (1 year ago)
Loved this!!! 👌🏼 How could anyone not smile back at you, you're so friendly!! Xx
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
Oh she really is Amy!
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
Aw thank you, Amy! xx
500daysofsophie (1 year ago)
I did a video on how I feel alone as a mum. I feel so isolated, a persons religion wouldn't stop me being friends with someone. I just want some friends and to feel accepted and just have a good laugh. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CunYYjC1bs&t=4s
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
It is so lonely isn't it! Have you joined the Channel Mum Facebook Group? So many lovely mums there, it's such a lovely supportive environment. Thanks for sharing your video we'll have a look.
Katie Ellison (1 year ago)
Nilly you come across so well on camera- you are beautiful, you are chatty and friendly, and I love your hijab style points and how you like to create a perfect peak. I can't believe no one would smile at you in the street, you radiate happiness and are lovely. Well done to you for raising awareness and showing people that we are all human and that how we look doesn't define us. x
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
Katie Ellison Katie you really described Nilly so beautifully, you're right on every point made x
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
Such a beautiful comment to read, thank you, Katie!
On fleek peak... I love it! You look fab Nilly!
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
One beautiful lady indeed x
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
Aw thank you Ciara xxx
Jessica Louise Ashe (1 year ago)
Their loss, not yours. You're such a beautiful person Nilly! People really need to get past on what we wear or look like x
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
You said it Jess. See past the scarf- see the person x
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
Aw thank you, Jess. And, I totally agree. xx
LucieAndTheBump (1 year ago)
Loved this video Nilly!! I really cannot understand how no one would smile at you.. one you are so smiley and friendly and lovely. Two you are gorgoeus! And three like you say you just have a piece of cloth on your head! X
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
It's total ignorance Lucie. If only those mums took a moment to get to know Nilly or at least shared the same gesture back x
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
Aw Lucie <3 You are tooooo kind. Love you xxx
Katie Mcloughlin (1 year ago)
How can anyone not smile back?? One of the things that makes me sad is where we currently live is very lacking in multiculturalism, we used to live in Luton and loved it and it taught my children that it doesn't matter what you wear or what you believe in, being a good person is universal!
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
Exactly. It's a natural instinct, I thought! I know how you guys feel. I grew up in a village where I was the only hijabi in the village, but I used it to my advantage. I was able to teach aspects of Islam to people who wouldn't have learnt about it at all, simply because of where they live and not being exposed to multi-culturalism! And, that moral you're teaching your children is brilliant and restores faith in the next generation! x
Zinouchiya (1 year ago)
thanks so much go channel mum for showing the world us muslim mummies are just looking for some mommy lovely mommy friends like all the other mommies out there :)
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
Nobody deserves to feel isolated by any means let alone because of a scarf worn on your head. We are really pleased you liek the video x
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
Exactly. That is the whole point. *hi5* make sure you share the video :) xx
Alexis Knibbs (1 year ago)
well done lady and I'm smiling right at you now. I'm going to do this soon. love it and i think its a brilliant idea. great video, loved it. xxx
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
Smile away! So glad to hear it's had such a positive reaction from you x
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
I'm smiling back at you!! Let me know if you accept the challenge xx
familypeacelove (1 year ago)
Well done on this message xx
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
Such a huge message to put out there x
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
Thank you, hun x
GemMummy (1 year ago)
So sad for the people who didn't smile back. They must be really miserable people. Xx
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
Yes to that! How we behave teaches our kids important lessons.
GemMummy (1 year ago)
Not sure about the wrinkles. Am sure laughing and smiling makes mine worse lol. For me not only is it nice for you but it's important o teach my daughter that a person's​ appearance does not define their character and that she should be friendly and polite to everyone. It's something my mum taught me and I want to pass that on to my kids too.
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
I know. A smile a day keeps the wrinkles away? haha x
Jessica Gunn (1 year ago)
when I was pregnant my daughter (she's 7now) my neighbours where a wonderful Muslim family with 2 beautiful children who o spent alot of time with chatting,eating, gardening then at 20weeks my daughter dad died during my pregnancy and they where amazing they took me under there wing fed and loved me hugged let me cry for as long as it took and helped me more then they will ever know. I am Pagan and it was never an issue I just remembe the only thing she said about God is "there is a God we just all see him differently and as long as we are good loving people it doesn't matter what we believe" and that really touched my heart xx
Franky Thomas (1 year ago)
Jessica Howett Wat an amazing comment hun :) hugs x
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
I'm sure they would love to see you again and see how happy you are again xx Aw you are too sweet. Come gimme a hug! x
Jessica Gunn (1 year ago)
And NillyDahlia I would of smiled at you and probably given you a hug what a beautiful person you are xx
Jessica Gunn (1 year ago)
Any time thank you for reading it was an awful time back then and I really struggled but when my daughter was 2 I met Jamie who took my daughter on as his own she calls him dad and is her dad she knows she has 2 daddy's on here and one in spirit. Cut a long story short me and Jamie moved to the North west near Manchester 3 years ago and got married last August. I really miss my old neighbours now and hope to go visit in the summer thank you guys have a fab day xxx
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
Oh Jessica what a sad story. How lovely were your neighbours to do that.
Alex Gladwin (1 year ago)
I absolutely adore this video! One of my absolute favourites! 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 People are mad not to smile back at you Nilly! I want you to live near me and be my friend! xx
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
Alex Gladwin Perhaps having a smile as gorgeous as Nillys was intimidating! Hehe x
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
I would LOVE to be your friend! x
4 little Taylor's (1 year ago)
Awww your lovely xxx
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
Aww thank you xxx
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
4 little Taylor's Thanks so much for watching! Will you be taking the challenge? :) x
Kerry Conway (1 year ago)
Fab video Nilly, I have never approached anyone wearing a Hijab because I thought they wouldn't like ME or judged me or would be offended for NOT covering up.. I would definitely try it now though :) Can we be friends?!
mod26 (1 year ago)
Aw no, not all my friends wear it either so hell naw :D ❤️
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
There's just one big pile of misunderstanding surrounding us isn't there. We all want the same thing, mum friends :) x
Kerry Conway (1 year ago)
NillyDahlia I really thought that would never happen! But it's amazing it does 😊 we are totally friends haha x
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
Not at all. Some of my closest friends live in bikinis through the summer and theres me with everything covered and a sombrero haha. But, wait, I thought we were already friends? Haha x
All my Love TB (1 year ago)
Oh my goodness..this is so sad,it's horrible to think this kind of behaviour actually goes on in 2017 xx
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
Tabs Unfortunately so...but we want that to change xx
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
Exactly. It makes me want to take my kids away to a secluded island so they don't see this sort of behaviour! x
DubaiExpatMummy (1 year ago)
This makes me so sad. Gotta say though, I love your hijab plus points. Sitting here with a bad hair day, RIGHT NOW.
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
DubaiExpatMummy Sounds like the perfect opportunity to take part in the challenge :)
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
Haha. Well, wear the hijab and go out and look fab ;) - totally the norm out in Dubai! x
New Mum Online (1 year ago)
my last 3 closest friends have been Muslim and my very best mate my BFF wears the Hijab. so very beautiful. And I myself used to wear a turban when I taught Kundalini Yoga for 6 years. Yes I'd definitely say hello xx
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
New Mum Online Lovely! Behind the scarf is a women just the same as anybody else wanting and needing mum friends x
New Mum Online (1 year ago)
+NillyDahlia definitely and you can get such vibrant colours. Can coordinate them in such a lovely way and put beautiful brooches on them. Stunning. Really emphasises facial features like cheekbones and makes makeup even more eye catching. And like you say great for breastfeeding too 😍😍
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
Hiya - that's so cool to know!! Hijab is definitely beautiful x
JK and Charlie (1 year ago)
you're one of the chattiest, friendliest mums i've met this year Nilly! So sad those mums chose not to smile back! They're missing out x
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
JK and Charlie totally agree with you Charlie. Those mums are missing out on a great friend x
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
Aw thank you, Charlie! If only I could have my youtube channel on a tablet strapped to me so people can see past the scarf haha x
Stacey 1993 (1 year ago)
Don't know how someone would be so rude as to not smile back at someone. Hijab or no hijab. Don't know why people can't be more friendly these! As a mum a smile can make the biggest difference to your day!
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
I completely agree with you. A smile can really turn someones day around!
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
Totally agree - just rude! A chat or a smile that is returned makes life so much better.
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
As Nilly says, "see past the scarf and see the person" - we're all mums going through the same thing so the more we're together, the better it will be. Would you say hello to Nilly?
Katy Mack (1 year ago)
Id be your friend even if you had a Xmas tree on your head 😃 ! You're a woman and a human being ....the hijab doesn't define you X
Clara Solis (1 year ago)
Katy Mack what a lovely thing to say, god bless you!
Raising The Regans (1 year ago)
Absolutely!!!! Totally agree!!! Xx
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
Haha, thank you, that means a lot. x
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
You are SO right Katy!
rissaraable (1 year ago)
Boy am I glad we have a muslim mumma on channel mum! More cultural and religious videos please
Channel Mum (1 year ago)
rissaraable We adore our Nilly! She's fab isn't she? We want this challenge to reach far and wide :)
NillyDahlia (1 year ago)
Indeed we do. We have a very multicultural Mum Village, have a look here: http://www.channelmum.com/vloggers x

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